The Complete Klonoa Characters' Maintainace Guide
by Solitary Shadow
Summary: This is a different twist to the characters themselves. Set in a simillar style to 'The Dummies' Guide to Klonoa Romance'. Now up: Pango Maintainace Guide.
1. Klonoa Maintainace Guide

**Disclaimer:** Klonoa is property of Namco. Also, the format of this story does not belong to me. I was unable to contact the original owner, as appears to have mail logging problems.

**Author's Note:** This is an entirely new take on the Klonoa characters. What if they were actually 'units'? What would be their instruction manual?

Read on to find out Klonoa's instruction manual.

Beware, though; this is a cross between odd sense and insanity. You might find the whole thing too crazy.

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_**The Klonoa Owner's Guide**_

_To the owner:_

Thank you for purchasing the 'Klonoa' unit. Please read this instruction manual throughly to ensure many years of happiness and joy with your Klonoa unit. Namco Inc. is pleased to have brought out the new, revised units, and guarantees that all the bugs in the previous version has been fixed.

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_Specifications and Aesthetics:_

Name: Klonoa

Alias: Dream Traveller

Type: Male, Lunatean Cabbit

Age: 13

Manufacturers: Klonoa Works Inc, Namco, Japan.

Date of Manufacture: 1997. Last revised in 2005.

Description: Anthro-hybrid, known as a cabbit. Black and white with blue clothes, red shoes, blue hat and amber eyes. See the 'Mode' section below to see how this appearence can be changed.

Height/Weight: Around 90cm or 1m in height. Weight unspecified. Still a child, so is shorter than the other models.

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_Mode:_

The settings of the Klonoa unit is simple. Your Klonoa has two modes available, which you can switch as much as you wish.

Mode I. 'Old-School' Mode. The Klonoa unit will appear to be younger, and will have a red dog-collar around the neck along with red shorts. The blue hat will remain in place. Also, the eyes will change to black, with the irises coloured yellow.

Mode II. 'Revised' Mode. The Klonoa unit will have blue clothes, blue hat and red boots, along with longer headfur. The eyes will change to amber.

This version is a 'Revised' version, so the standard Klonoa unit will be set to Mode II. However, you can change the settings as often as you want.

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_Accessories:_

The Klonoa unit will have the following items:

1 Gold ring

30 Dreamstones

3 Moon fragments

1 Spare hat

The items are replaceable. Contact 1-800-NAMCO-CHAR for further information.

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_Unpacking Procedures:_

Your Klonoa unit will arrive to you in his own protective crate, fresh right from the factory. To keep his moving parts pristine and clean, you might wish to give it a bath and grooming before activating the unit. It is fully recommend you do not activate the unit before the bath and grooming; his feline/cabbit instincts will reject the contact with water and he is most likely to end up throwing you out of the bathroom with his Wind Ring. Remember, your unit cannot swim. Do not leave the bath unattended once your unit is activated.

Warning: Female owners, married or committed to a partner are recommended to keep your partner out of the house when carrying out this procedure. Namco Inc. does not take responsibility for divorce/fight/injury procedures due to this.

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_Operating Your Unit:_

Apart from the aesthetic value of your Klonoa unit, it can be utilized in many ways.

Foreign Language Teacher: Klonoa units are programmed to be patient, especially with children. Your unit is perfectly capable of teaching its language, Klonian, to your children and you. Be warned, though, as this language is extremely addictive.

Babysitter: As said above, Klonoa units are patient and good with children. If you have a Moo unit or two, the children will enjoy the sight of your Klonoa unit fighting battles with them.

Bodyguard: Your Klonoa unit, despite its deceptively cute appearence, is strong and powerful, skilled with its Wind Ring. The dreamstones and Moon Fragments will also come in handy for his level-ups. Your Klonoa unit will protect you from everything. But be warned, as Namco Inc. will not offer any refunds for any units damaged in this way.

Warning: There is a chance of fangirl/Mary-Sue mobbing. Alternate escape routes must be planned, and it is required you train your Klonoa unit to be strong.

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_Interaction and Compatibility with Other Models:_

Your Klonoa unit is friendly to all Lunatean Character units. However, some care should be taken when exposing your unit to several other units.

Lolo unit: Programmed to be Klonoa's best friend, they can behave as couples or friends depending on the programming.

Huepow unit: Can be Klonoa's sidekick. If you are a fanfiction writer or fanart artist looking for inspiration, please ask your local retailer for the Slash Update Kit ver. 3.56.

Guntz unit: They can behave as rivals, friends or enemies depending on the programming. But if they are supposed to behave as enemies, do keep your unit safe, as the Guntz unit has the tendency to have a terrible temper. If you are looking for inspiration, please ask your local retailer for the Slash Update Kit special ver. 2.54. KloGuntz. But it might shock you to find how they can change so quickly once the kit has been installed. Do keep children and/or your partner away from the two units if this is the case.

Chipple unit: Your Klonoa can be a patient guide to help this unit to gain confidence. The Chipple unit will socialize especially well with the Klonoa unit, and they will play beach volleyball together in the beach. No Slash Kit is available as for now, but one is due to appear in a few months.

Jillius unit: The Jillius unit is the only non-Lunatean model to successfully socialize with the Klonoa unit. This time, it will rather be the other way around, however, as the Jillius unit is one of the most powerful, most wise units ever produced by Namco Inc. The unit is perfectly capable of teaching your Klonoa unit to control its powers, and will provide some care for it. A Slash Update Kit can be attempted to be installed in those two units, but it is highly likely to fail, as the Jillius unit appears to have absolutely no capacity for that kind of behaviour in its mind whatsoever.

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_Cleaning:_

Your Klonoa model does not require frequent cleaning, but a grooming session once a week will do nicely. Also, those moments can provide a nice, relaxing moment for you and your Klonoa.

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_Troubleshooting:_

Q: My Klonoa went out for a walk one day, and staggered back with three huge gashes on its chest. It hasn't awoken since that day. What can I do?

A: It appears there is a Janga unit in the neighbourhood. Klonoa units must be kept away from this particular unit at all costs. As for the cure, the best thing to do is to buy a Pango unit and consult it for further directions. Alternatively, you may wish to purchase a Guntz unit and equip them both with a Slash Update Kit. Their undying love will resurrect the Klonoa unit within hours. This method has never failed yet. Also, seek out the owner of the Janga unit and have a talk with him/her.

Q: There are no clothing accessories available for my Klonoa unit.

A: Is that meant to be a complaint?

Q: My Klonoa unit keeps snatching my neighbour's little girl and refuses to let her go home.

A: Is the daughter amber-haired and blue-eyed? If so, your Klonoa unit might have confused her for a Lolo unit. Either your unit is lovesick, or it has been reminded of the Moon kidnapping a few years ago. Your unit just wants to rescue and bring the Lolo unit to safety. Unless you can get your neighbour to pay you for the daughtersitting, there is very little you can do. The best thing is to just buy a Lolo unit to prevent this happening.

Q: My Klonoa refuses to eat its smoothie, or its chips.

A: Do not give your unit carrot juice/smoothie, orange juice or chips with tomato ketchup. Those three things are the only things your unit will refuse to eat.

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_Last Note:_

Your Klonoa unit is guaranteed to last at least 20-30 years. Please call 1-800-NAMCO-CHAR often for available updates for your unit.

During the guaranteed time, your unit can be exchanged for a new one, but only in the case of malfuctions.

Namco Inc. wishes you a happy time with your Klonoa unit!

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O.o

Well, that was fun.

Do you want me to continue the series? Please tell me what you think!


	2. Guntz Maintainace Guide

**Disclaimer:** Guntz is the property of Namco.

**Author's Note:** I decided to continue, seeing as the story seems popular enough. I mean, when it was four hours online it had five reviews... Heheh... Thank you for your wonderful reviews. This is the second chapter.

Oh, I have a new forum now. I could use more members... (grin) A visit to my profile page gives you the link.

Read on to find out Guntz's instruction manual.

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_**The Guntz Owner's Guide**_

_To the owner:_

Thank you for purchasing the 'Guntz' unit. Please read this instruction manual throughly to ensure many years of happiness and joy with your Guntz unit. Namco Inc. is pleased to have brought out the new, revised units, and guarantees that all the bugs in the previous version has been fixed.

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_Specifications and Aesthetics:_

Name: Guntz

Alias: Shinigami Guntz, Guntz the Bounty Hunter, The Golden Death

Type: Male, Lunatean Wolf (Volk-born)

Age: 16

Manufacturers: Klonoa Works Inc, Namco, Japan.

Date of Manufacture: 2001-2002. Last revised in 2005.

Description: Antro-wolf, golden and black fur. Handsome and charismatic. Particular area of fur around the chest and neck is fluffy. Long hair, long eyelashes, well-toned body and sapphire eyes. Red jacket, black skin-tight trousers, shirt and boots. Carries guns around, hence his namesake. See the 'Mode' section below to see how this appearence can be changed.

Height/Weight: Around 1m 30-40cm in height. Weight unspecified. Teenager, but tall for his type.

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_Mode:_

The Guntz unit has a variety of settings, quite complicated but not that difficult once you get used to it. Your Guntz has three modes available, which you can switch as much as you want.

Mode I. Bitter and misunderstood, but not bad at all. The revised version.

Mode II. Vengeful, narcisstic and particularly bad-tempered, ideal for inspiration.

Mode III. One word: Emo.

This version is the 'Revised' version, so the standard Guntz unit will be set to Mode I. If you have a longing to draw or write, or want your Guntz unit set into Dream Champ Tournament version, you can switch your Guntz to Mode II. However, you can change the settings as often as you want.

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_Accessories:_

The Guntz unit will have the following items:

60 Dreamstones

2 Twin Fire Guns

1 Bazooka

2 Bulletproof Jackets

1 Laser

1 Flamethower

2 Missile Launchers

1 RedClan Motorbike

1 Pair of Goggles

The items are replaceable, and you can buy more items of your choice. Contact 1-800-NAMCO-CHAR for further information.

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_Unpacking Procedures:_

Your Guntz unit will arrive to you in its own protective crate, fresh right from the factory. All his firearms will be included in an additional, attached crate. To keep his moving parts pristine and clean, you might wish to give it a bath and grooming before activating the unit. It is fully recommended you do not activate the unit before the bath and grooming; his wolfish instincts will reject the contact with water and he is most likely to end up throwing you out of the bathroom. Your unit can swim well, but that is no excuse for trying to bathe a struggling, wild unit.

Warning: Female owners, married or committed to a partner are recommended to keep your partner out of the house when carrying out this procedure. Namco Inc. does not take responsibility for divorce/fight/injury prodedures due to this.

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_Operating Your Unit:_

Apart from the aesthetic value of your Guntz unit, it can be utilized in many ways.

Weaponary Trainer: Guntz units are extremely skilled with firearms. Your unit can give you lessons how to use guns in cases of emergency. To be fit for this use, the Guntz units' temper has been toned down, as the previous versions were impatient and unfit for training. But still your unit might still start throwing obscenities at completely inappropriate moments. See 'Troubleshooting' to solve this problem.

Bodyguard: Guntz units are skilled, strong and loyal. The unit will protect you from everything possible, even fighting until it goes offline beyond repair. Namco Inc. will not offer any refunds for any units damaged in this way, unless your story of loyalty happens to be particularly touching.

Art Model: Your unit, when set to Mode II, will be willing to pose and even strip for you to draw him. Recommended for artists.

Reading Beta: If your unit can sit through a story with him in it without commenting loudly, shifting, swearing, or falling asleep, the story is 100 percent guaranteed to succeed.

Warning: There is a very high risk of fangirl/Mary-Sue mobbing. Alternate escape routes must be planned, and it is required your unit can control its strength and obscenities. Also, this unit must be kept away from Janga units, if you don't want blood all over your doorstep.

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_Interaction and Compatibility with Other Models:_

Your Guntz unit is programmed to be a natural loner. But it will socialize well with certain units if placed under care.

Klonoa unit: They can behave as rivals, friends or enemies depending on the programming. But if they are supposed to behave as enemies, do keep your unit away from said Klonoa unit, as the Guntz unit will try to rip the latter apart. If you are looking for inspiration, please ask your local retailer for the Slash Update Kit special ver. 2.54. KloGuntz. But it might shock you to find how quickly they can change from the moment the kit has been installed. The following events will not be pleasant for children, so keep any children and/or your partner away from the two units.

Leorina unit: The Guntz unit can socialize well, even have a romantic interest in the Leorina unit. The same goes for the latter, unless the Leorina unit is set to 'Loving the Psychotic Purple Kitty' Mode. If that is the case, she will not pay attention to your Guntz unit.

Pango unit: The Pango unit behaves like a father to the Guntz unit, and will be a kind, willing teacher. No Slash Update Kit is available. Be warned, though, as the two units can be somewhat destructive.

Jillius unit: The Jillius unit is the only non-Lunatean model to successfully socialize with the Guntz unit. It will rather be like the Pango unit, as the Jillius unit is one of the most powerful, most wise units ever produced by Namco Inc. The unit is perfectly capable of teaching the Guntz unit to control its powers, or have a chat, and will provide care for it. But beware - sometimes, those units can malfunction and they will start a screaming match wherever they happen to be. If things get ugly the units might rip each other apart. A Slash Update Kit can be attempted to be installed in those two units, but it is highly likely to fail, as the Jillius unit appears to have absolutely no capacity whatsoever in its mind for that kind of behaviour.

There are also units that should be kept away from the Guntz unit.

Janga unit: Guntz units have a natural hatred for this model. Unless they're both equipped with the Slash Update Kit version 3.56, they will fight to the death. So keep this model away!

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_Cleaning:_

Your Guntz model does need frequent cleaning. He'll bathe himself and groom himself as well. So it is no use to try to force him to try to submit to your grooming sessions.

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_Troubleshooting:_

Q: My Guntz went out for a walk, and came back with an unfamillar purple-black-red rifle in its hands. It refuses to answer where it got it from. What's happened?

A: There is a Janga unit in the neighbourhood. Your Guntz unit has fought the Janga model, won and stole the rifle that the Janga unit carried. The rifle, according to Densetsu no Star Medal, belongs to Guntz's father Butz, who Janga killed. It has not been stolen by the Guntz unit. It belongs to the rightful owner now. Do not question any further, and give your Guntz unit a treat for doing such a brilliant deed.

Q: My Guntz unit keeps staring out of the window and fingering the glass, and sighing.

A: Your Guntz has been left in Mode II too long, and its narcissm is taking its toll on the unit. Draw the curtains over the window, cover your mirrors and switch it back to Mode I.

Q: The Guntz unit doesn't want to eat.

A: It has been set to Mode III. When it's in the Emo mode, it won't eat much at all. Change its mode and give it a bowl of meat soup immediately.

Q: My Guntz keeps glancing at the next door's kitten with extreme anxiety and sometimes pulls its gun on the kitten. This is getting way beyond antisocial - what should I do?

A: Your Guntz might have mistaken the kitten for a Janga unit. He just wants self-defence and revenge. The unit must be taught firmly that the kitten is not Janga. A Pango unit or Jillius unit can help with that. Otherwise, threaten the Guntz unit with an Anti-Social Behaviour Order (ASBO). A Slash Update Kit installed in it along with a Klonoa unit proves to be very effective also.

Q: My boyfriend comes around sometimes, and we have a stable relationship. But he demands that the Guntz unit be present in every room we're in. Why is that? I'm perfect, I'm beautiful and sweet with a lot of money.

A: He is gay.

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_Last Note:_

Your Guntz unit is guaranteed to last at least 20-30 years. Please call 1-800-NAMCO-CHAR often for available updates for your unit.

During the guranteed time, your unit can be exchanged for a new one, but only in the case of malfuctions.

Namco Inc. wishes you a happy time with your Guntz unit!

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Did you like it? Tell me what you think!


	3. Janga Maintainace Guide

**Disclaimer:** Janga is the property of Namco.

**Author's Note:** Right, this is the third installment already. I'm taking the weekend off to update some of my other stuff, and I'll update again in Monday.

Read on to find out Janga's instruction manual.

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_**The Janga Owner's Guide**_

_To the owner:_

Thank you for purchasing the 'Janga' unit. Please read this instruction manual throughly to ensure many years of happiness and joy with your Janga unit. Namco Inc. is pleased to have brought out the new, revised units, and guarantees that all the bugs in the previous version has been fixed.

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_Specifications and Aesthetics:_

Name: Janga

Alias: Poison Claws

Type: Male, Lunatean Cat (Volk-born)

Age: 38

Manufacturers: Klonoa Works Inc, Namco, Japan

Date of Manufacture: 2002. Last revised in 2005.

Description: Anthro-cat, with purple fur and long, deep purple coat. Pink and lavender muffler, mauve coloured hat with soft felt purple boots. Three long red claws on each hand, which are tipped with poison. Odd-eyed, with one blue eye and one yellow eye. See the 'Mode' section below to see how this appearence can be changed.

Height/Weight: 1m 60cm, thus the tallest model of all units manufactured. Weight unspecified. Unusually tall.

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_Mode:_

The Janga unit has a variety of settings, but to be honest, they make very little difference. You'll still be left with one bad-tempered, grouchy, homicidal manic of a cat regardless of which mode you put him in. But here are the choices - your Janga unit has three settings to choose from.

Mode I. Mischievious and perverted, but not that bad deep down.

Mode II. Bitter, bad and misunderstood because of a love story gone wrong.

Mode III. Purely evil pyromaniac.

This version is the 'Revised' version, but to make the unit safe for users the Janga unit will automatically be set to Mode I. You can change the settings as often as you like. If you long to draw or write, then we recommend the Mode II. Just make sure there are no glass/beer bottles nearby.

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_Accessories:_

The Janga unit will have the following items:

1 Spare hat

1 Butz rifle

3 Bottles of poison

2 Spare boots

6-pack of beer

6-pack of vodka

The items are replaceable, and you can buy more items of your choice. Be sure to buy a lot of the last two items to keep your Janga unit contented. Contact 1-800-NAMCO-CHAR for further information.

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_Unpacking Procedures:_

Your Janga unit will arrive to you in its own protective crate, fresh right from the factory. To keep his moving parts pristine and clean, you might wish to give it a bath and grooming before activating the unit. It is fully recommended you do not activate the unit before the bath and grooming; his feline instincts will reject the contact with water and he is most likely to end up throwing you out of the bathroom. Remember, your unit cannot swim. Do not leave the bath unattended once the unit is activated, and especially if your unit is drunk and thinks your sofa is a chocolate crumble.

Warning: Female owners, married or committed to a partner are recommended to keep your partner out of the house when carrying out this procedure. Namco Inc. does not take responsibility for divorce/fight/injury prodedures due to this.

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_Operating Your Unit:_

Apart from the aesthetic value of your Janga unit, it can also be utilized in many ways.

Model: When in Mode I or II, your Janga will often complain of heatstroke and take off its clothes. Use this oppurtunity to draw a nude study of him.

Bodyguard: When not drunk, the Janga units are programmed to be skilled and blunt with its claws. One sweep and a slash will rid you of all your troubles (aka. the postman, milkman, next-door loudmouthed neighbour, advertising salesmen...). Of course, the unit first has to be trained for loyalty and control. Often, as it is killing, the unit will start swearing reapeatedly and violently. You must train the unit to control this a little, if not stop it.

Spycam: Your Janga unit has the ability to split itself into fours, and blend naturally into its surroundings. It is possible, but of course wrong and terrible, to attach a camera and microphone to your unit and spy on your neighbour's gossiping.

Warning: Though not as well liked as the Klonoa and Guntz units, there is still some risk of fangirl/Mary-Sue mobbing. But there is nothing to worry about, for the Janga unit will take care of them itself. Just don't be surprised when your unit comes back with blood and intestines all over its coat. Also, this unit must be kept away from the Guntz unit, if you don't want blood on your doorstep.

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_Interaction and Compatibility with Other Models:_

The Janga unit is not a social unit at all, and is generally a loner. However, with close monitoring and certain precautions, it may interact with certain models.

Leorina unit: This unit may be an associate or even an love interest for your Janga unit. However, if the Leorina unit is set to 'Loving the Sexy Golden Hunter' mode, it will not pay any attention to your Janga unit.

Garlen unit: They can socialize, but must be checked regularly, for they are likely to be plotting world domination while your back is turned. When socializing with the Garlen unit, the Janga must be set to Mode I. No exceptions.

Joka unit: Even though this unit might annoy the heck out your Janga unit, the Joka model is the closest friend that your unit will ever recieve. The Joka model can provide the Janga unit with advice, beer, vodka, and possibly bring some children and women so they can have some 'fun'. Alternatively, a Slash Update Kit can be installed in those two units. You will be surprised to learn how kind and caring your Janga can be.

Lolo unit: If the Janga unit is well trained, it may socialize and meet with a Lolo unit. However, this must be closely monitored, because of the Janga unit's tendency to run off carrying the Lolo unit with it. This must never happen, especially if the Lolo unit is not yours. See 'Troubleshooting' to solve this problem.

Also, there are models which the Janga unit must never socialize with.

Guntz unit: Janga units have a natural hatred for this unit. They will fight to the death, and if the latter loses the Janga unit might decide to rape the Guntz unit regardless of whether the Slash Update Kit ver 3.56 is installed or not. If the kit is installed, at least the Janga unit will be a bit more gentle.

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_Cleaning:_

Your Janga model does need frequent cleaning. He'll bathe himself and groom himself as well. So it is no use to try to force him to try to submit to your grooming sessions.

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_Troubleshooting:_

Q: My Janga was walking along the park. It came back two hours later with a very angry look and hasn't spoken since. Also, it keeps muttering profanities. What has happened?

A: Your Janga unit has met a Guntz unit, fought and lost. When your unit lost, it also lost its Butz Rifle, as it was reclaimed by the Guntz unit. That's why your unit is in a terrible mood. Ask no more questions, and leave it be until it comes around. Otherwise he might try to unleash its anger on you.

Q: My Janga unit keeps saying I smell like a human. Why is that?

A: Because your unit is a feline, and undoubtly a very untolerable one, this problem will always exist for it. However, you might be able to stop this by suggesting that it joins you in the shower to ensure you no longer smell offensive.

Q: My Janga unit is remarkably docile, calm and wise, and also looks much younger. It appears slightly shorter than the standard Janga unit, and frequently speaks of phillosophy and doesn't drink at all. Also, my unit has no claws. What is going on? Is it a new version?

A: That is not a Janga unit. It appears you have accidently been issued with a Jillius unit. Unfortunately, Namco Inc. offers no refunds for those accidents.

On the other hand,_ you have accidently been issued with a Jillius unit_. Do you know how useful that unit can be? Why, it's the unit most close to perfection for Namco Inc.! Stop complaining!

Q: My unit suddenly started gagging last night. It's still gagging. What's happening?

A: Your unit is choking on a hairball. Thump its back.

Q: Help! My Lolo unit's gone and I fear that next door's Janga unit is to blame! What should I do? That's a family unit!

A: Oh dear, it seems that the Janga unit _has_ run off with your Lolo unit. No use trying to chase him down. No car or bus or plane can catch him. The best thing to do is to buy a Hero unit, preferably Klonoa, and set him free to rescue the Lolo unit. Also, if you have more money spare, you can buy the Star Medal Heroes special edition (All three Heroes - Guntz, Klonoa and Pango) and set them on the quest.

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_Last Note:_

Your Janga unit is guaranteed to last at least 15 years. Please call 1-800-NAMCO-CHAR often for available updates for your unit.

During the guranteed time, your unit can be exchanged for a new one, but only in the case of malfuctions.

Namco Inc. wishes you a happy time with your Janga unit!

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You liked it? Please review!


	4. Jillius Maintainace Guide

**Disclaimer:** Jillius is the property of Namco.

**Author's Note:** Right. I lied. I couldn't resist. xD There were just too many possibilities screaming to be written down.

Read on to find out Jillius's instruction manual.

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_**The Jillius Owner's Guide**_

_To the owner:_

As expensive as it was, thank you for purchasing the 'Jillius' unit. Please read this instruction manual throughly to ensure many years od happiness and joy with your Jillius unit. Namco Inc. is pleased to have brought out the new, revised units, and guarantees that all the bugs in the previous version has been fixed.

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_Specifications and Aesthetics:_

Name: Jillius

Alias: Emperor Jillius

Type: Male, appears to be hybrid, Non-Lunatean.

Age: 21

Manufacturers: Klonoa Works Inc, Namco, Japan.

Date of Manufacture: 2001. No revising was needed for this unit. We'll revise this unit again when Namco actually starts taking notice of him.

Description: Anthro-hybrid, lavender fur. Handsome, calm and docile. Wise beyond his years. Phillosophic. Wears long, flowing, mauve robes. Occasionally carries a staff around. See the 'Mode' section below to see how this appearence can be changed.

Height/Weight: 1m 55cm. Weight is known to us, but the units will find it offensive if we tell you. Still young, but very tall, coming second only to Janga.

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_Mode:_

The Jillius unit has a variety of different settings, and they can be remarkably strange, because this unit is programmed to have multiple personalities. You might find one side of the unit extremely tiring, while another side interests you.

Mode I. Calm, accepting and kind. Somewhat maternal.

Mode II. Hopeless romantic. The unit might present another with a velvet rose quite suddenly if set to this mode.

Mode III. 'Empire of Dreams' version - insomniac, irritable but still calm and reasonable. Ideal for inspirations.

Mode IV. Emo. Doesn't speak often, but when it does, it uses cruel wit and humour, ideal for a critic, cynic or pessimistic.

Mode V. Pure evil.

Two things will remain the same, regardless of the settings. The Jillius unit will always be wise. It has been for a very long time. Also, it will remain permanently in denial of homosexual behaviour. See 'Operating your Unit' for further information.

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_Accessories:_

Your Jillius unit, although of royalty, is far from vain. The only accessory he will have is:

1 Staff

The item is replaceable, but as the Jillius unit normally takes very good care of it, it may not be necessary. Contact 1-800-NAMCO-CHAR for further information.

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_Unpacking Procedures:_

Your Jillius unit will arrive to you in its own protective crate, fresh right from the factory. To keep his moving parts pristine and clean, you might wish to give it a bath and grooming before activating the unit. You do not need to do this manually. Just activate the unit, and the first thing it will do is to go into the bathroom and take a bath and check its grooming is in fine shape. This will take an hour or so. Do not intrude on it, or it will instantly go crazy and end up throwing you out of the bathroom. Your unit does not need to swim, as it can just walk or wade over water, but that is no excuse for leaving the tap running.

Warning: Female owners, married or committed to a partner are recommended to keep your partner out of the house when carrying out this procedure. Namco Inc. does not take responsibility for divorce/fight/injury prodedures due to this.

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_Operating Your Unit:_

Apart from the aesthetic value of your Jillius unit, it can be utilized in many ways.

Caretaker/Guardian: This option is not just for your children and drunk partner. The Jillius unit, along with the Pango unit, is caring and kind. If you have any other Namco Inc. models in your house, chances are the Jillius unit will take care of them and teach the units continously. This works wonders with almost any model. See 'Interaction and Compatibility with Other Models' for more information.

Sentinel: Jillius units are more than just a bodyguard. Bodyguarding models need to switch off once in a while, but this unit will be permanently on guard for postmen/milkmen/etc. This is a very rare option to be found in any of our models. The Guntz unit and the Pango unit can serve as sentinels if well-trained and well-behaved, but this is quite rare.

Therapist: When set to Mode II, you can talk to the Jillius unit about anything. Normally, it will answer and tell you ways to solve your problem. Unfortunately, due to a programming bug/error in the original versions, this unit cannot cope with homosexual issues.

Artist/Musician: Being born of royalty, the unit has a talent for art and music. He might draw your fanart for you as long it's not dirty, and may be found at the piano singing extremely vulgar songs if set to Mode III. Shut it up with the threat of a Slash Update Kit.

Teacher: Over a few years the Jillius unit has said some very wise things to their owners. Here's a few samples.

"You can't attempt to reason with people who are beyond reason." (Mode I)

"Take off your shirt. Put it back on. If you're still wondering why there isn't a girl in your life, you obviously need to seek some sort of help." (Mode II)

"Just _what _is the sound of one hand clapping?" (Mode III)

"You should always borrow money from pessimistics and cynics. They don't expect it back." (Mode IV)

And this is the default response you must expect whenever you start talking about anything relatively homosexual. (Like the Slash Update Kit ver 3.56, slash in general, George Bush, etc)

"But I'm _not _a closeted homowhatever." (All models)

Warning: If you live in Japan, there's a chance of fangirl mobbing. The Jillius unit will take care of them calmly, but if it's in Mode III, there might be some blood.

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_Interaction and Compatibility with Other Models:_

For a Non-Lunatean unit, the Jillius unit's ability to socialize well is remarkable. However, if the unit hates another unit, it will hate them to the point where it goes crazy. Be warned.

Musica unit: Another Non-Lunatean unit, but can be a romantic interest to the Jillius unit. They'll work well when the Jillius unit is set to Mode II. Mind they don't elope, though.

Klonoa unit: Can be a friend to the Jillius unit. Your unit will take care of the Klonoa unit well, and possibly teach it to control its skills. A Slash Update Kit will not work, however, because the Jillius unit will reject the kit.

Guntz unit: This unit can be more or less the same as Klonoa. But when your unit is set to Mode III or IV and the Guntz unit makes a snide remark, automatic malfunction procedures will follow and they will start a screaming match regardless of where they are. Beware. A Slash Update Kit will not work, for the Jillius unit will reject the kit.

Pango unit: Combined together, those two units can be the ideal teachers. They will train and look after the other units, and you might often find the two chatting.

There is one unit, only one, that should be kept away from the Jillius unit.

Bagoo unit: This unit is solely created for one purpose: traumatize your Jillius unit. Just looking at this unit will cause the Jillius unit to fall into severe depression, and they might even try to rip each other apart. To be avoided at all costs.

Warning: The Bagoo unit isn't the only thing that can successfully traumatize your Jillius unit. Any sightings of two units with a Slash Update Kit ver 3.56 doing something oddly private will have a more severe effect. Do not let your Jillius unit near two units with a Slash Update Kit, such a Klonoa and Guntz model.

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_Cleaning:_

The Jillius unit is oddly obsessed with cleaning. It'll take care of itself. No need to worry.

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_Troubleshooting:_

Q: My Jillius unit was spring-cleaning when it suddenly flinched from the window and withdrew into its bed. It hasn't moved for a week. What happened?

A: Your Jillius unit has either witnessed a Bagoo unit, or two units with a Slash Update Kit. No amount of words can revive your unit at this point. Leave it alone, or try to talk it out of its depression.

Q: My Jillius unit doesn't want to eat.

A: This is normal. When set to Mode III, the unit will be more focused on sleeping then eating. When set to Mode IV, the unit may only eat once a week. Not eating for three days straight is quite normal.

Q: Lots of our Brazillian coffee has gone missing. Does my Jillius unit have anything to do with it?

A: Probably yes. Have you set your Jillius unit to Mode III? Its primary drink will be coffee, if that is the case. Either that, or your partner is to blame.

Q: I put my Jilius unit to Mode V just for fun, and now he's kidnapped half my family and wants me to surrender my garden to him.

A: Never use the Mode V until you're sure you can control your unit perfectly. When your unit is in this mode not much can be done to stop it. The best thing is to buy another Jillius unit, or borrow one off your neighbours to negotiate with your unit, or magic them back.

Q: My Jillius unit keeps saying he's not homosexual.

A: Normally, the unit will keep saying he's not homosexual every five days. But if it starts saying that every five _minutes_, that is a problem.This is due to a programming bug that sometimes occurs. There's a button behind the amber brooch your unit wears. Press that.

Q: My Jillius unit seems perverted and very vulgar. His fur's rather deep and his robes seem more like a coat. What's going on?

A: That is not a Jillius unit. You have been accidently issued with a Janga unit. Unfortunately, Namco Inc. does not offer any refunds for those incidents.

In this case, you will just have to put up with the Janga unit. _Or better still_, sell the unit to fangirls and buy a proper Jillius unit.

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_Last Note:_

Your Jillius unit is guaranteed to last at least 20-30 years. Please call 1-800-NAMCO-CHAR often for available updates for your unit.

During the guranteed time, your unit can be exchanged for a new one, but only in the case of malfuctions.

Namco Inc. wishes you a happy time with your Jillius unit!

--------------------------------

Right. x.x This one was interesting to write. Jillius is such a good character to write about.

Liked it? Freaky?


	5. Pango Maintainace Guide

**Disclaimer:** Pango is copyright to Namco.

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the lateness. I've been busy and all, and didn't feel very much like random during the time.

But here's the chapter now...

Read on to find out Pango's instruction manual.

------------------------

_**The Pango Owner's Guide**_

_To the owner:_

Thank you for purchasing the 'Pango' unit. Please read this instruction manual throughly to ensure many years of happiness and joy with your Pango unit. Namco Inc. is pleased to have brought out the new, revised units, and guarantees that all the bugs in the previous version has been fixed.

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_Specifications and Aesthetics:_

Name: Pango

Alias: Bomb Man

Type: Male, Pangolin (hence his namesake), Lunatean.

Age: 45

Manufacturers: Klonoa Works Inc, Namco, Japan.

Date of Manufacture: 2002. No revising was needed for this unit. We'll revise this unit again when Namco actually starts taking notice of him.

Description: Anthro-pangolin, orange scales. Calm, kind and jolly. Wise. Wears normally a green worksuit, and carries a hoard of apples and bombs around everywhere. See the 'Mode' section below to see how this appearence can be changed.

Height/Weight: 1m 40cm. Weight is too heavy to be written here. Of average height for his age.

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_Mode:_

The Pango unit has a few settings available. Normally, the unit is docile and kind, but one mode exists to change it all. The mode in question may result in severe damage, so be careful to insure your house, garage, car, and baby's dummy.

Mode I. Happy, jolly and nice. A real joker.

Mode II. Serious and phillosophical, but still kind. Heroes instincts apply.

Mode III. Raving maniac.

Mode IV. Desparate father.

The Pango unit, although not revised, will automatically be set to Mode II. Those settings can be changed as much as you want.

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_Accessories:_

Your Pango unit will have the following items:

60 Dreamstones

1 Gold Hero Medal

5 Giant Bomb

6-set of Throwing Bombs

3 packets of Grenades

1 Bomb-fixing Kit

2 Spare Worksuits

1 Hoard of Apples

1 Copy of the Book 'Legend of Stars and Moon'

If you bought the Deluxe Kit, 1 Boris unit will be included. The Boris unit will remain with your Pango unit at all times, so don't try to separate them. The Boris unit may pine away, automatically triggering the malfuction systems in your Pango unit. If you bought the Star Medal Heroes special edition, 1 Klonoa unit and 1 Guntz unit will be included, all the accesories attached also. The items are replaceable, and you can buy more items of your choice. Contact 1-800-NAMCO-CHAR for further information.

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_Unpacking Procedures:_

Your Pango unit will arrive to you in his own protective crate, fresh right from the factory. Don't be alarmed when the postman runs away screaming from your front door, for the crate may have a sticker that says 'Explosive Materials'. To keep his moving parts pristine and clean, you might wish to give it a bath and grooming before activating the unit. It is fully recommended you do not activate the unit before the bath and grooming; his pangolin instincts will reject the contact with water and he is most likely to end up throwing you out of the bathroom. Remember, your unit cannot swim. Do not leave the bath unattended once the unit is activated.

Warning: Elderly female owners, married or committed to a partner are recommended to keep your partner out of the house when carrying out this procedure. Namco Inc. does not take responsibility for divorce/fight/injury prodedures due to this.

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_Operating Your Unit:_

Apart from the aesthetic value of your Pango unit, it can also be utilized in many ways.

Bomber: This is for terrorists only. The Pango unit is capable mixing deadly bombs, even better than dynamite itself. Plus, no one would suspect you either. The unit is careful to leave no traces.

Bodyguard: Combined with the Jillius unit or the Heroes, the Pango unit can make the most satisfying bodyguard. Trained well, it can also serve as a sentinel, a rare option found in only a few of the Namco Inc. models. If you decide to disable the bombing fuctions, do not be surprised if the unit comes back with body parts all over the green worksuit, as it may have used the Rolling Blaster attack instead.

Therapist: The Pango unit is more like a fatherly figure than anything else, and can discuss topics that the Jillius units find uncomfortable to deal with. Ask it anything you want, but do leave the Boris unit out of it. 

Guardian: Alongside the Jillius unit, or solo, this unit can serve as a guardian - not only for your children or your drugged partner, either. If there are more units in the house, the Pango unit will take care of them and possibly train with them. Even the Guntz unit will co-operate with this particular unit.

Warning: Some sensible members of the Klonoa fandom may find it necessary to mob your Pango unit, especially if they're feeling emo. Please tell them gently to back off your unit, or the Pango unit will bomb them all. If that doesn't work, change it into Mode III and leave the site immediately.

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_Interaction and Compatibility with Other Models:_

The Pango unit may socialize with all units, due to its friendly, jolly nature. However, several models might trigger the automatic malfuction systems in your unit, therefore should never be exposed in front of it.

Klonoa unit: Can act as a fatherly figure and trainer to this model. With the occasional apple and advice, the Klonoa unit will depend on the Pango unit for training and will grow strong, possibly to become a bodyguard. No Slash Update Kit is available as of now.

Guntz unit: This unit loves the Pango unit. Will comply and get along fine with your model, so they need very little supervision. Just check every few hours to see if they're not planning a deadly mixture that will result in the destruction of your house. Namco Inc. does not offer any insurance or payment for any damage due to this. No Slash Update Kit is available, and for the sake of fangirls, no offer is currently being considered.

Jillius unit: Although the Jillius unit is younger, the Pango unit sees this unit as equal. They can act as double sentinels, or trainers for any other models in your house. You can rely on them for almost anything. No Slash Update Kit is available, due to the Jillius unit's unique characteristic of rejecting homosexuality of any kind.

Boris unit: The Boris unit is officially considered the Pango unit's son. They are inseparable, don't try to separate them for more than a few minutes. Your Pango unit has a strong fatherly instinct, and any attempts to challenge this will be crushed.

Those are the three main units that the Pango unit should never face.

'Nahato no Yami Conspiracy' series: Garlen, Janga and Joka units. Those units, especially the Garlen and Janga units, are responsible for the Boris models' sleeping sickness. Just looking at the units will make your Pango unit malfuction, and consequences may be unexpected.

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_Cleaning:_

Your Pango unit does not need frequent cleaning, as the dirt automatically slips off its scales. However, a gentle rub down with some chamosis leather and bay rum lotion will keep your model's scales looking shiny and sleek. Make sure that the Pango unit knows about this beforehand.

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_Troubleshooting:_

Q: My Pango unit went out for a walk one day and came back in a rage. Since then, it has locked the Boris unit and itself in the kitchen and refuses to come out, and keeps on muttering something. What's going on?

A: There is a 'Nahato no Yami Conspiracy' series model in the neighbourhood. Chances are it may be the Janga unit. Try to negotiate with the owner of the Janga unit as much as possible. If the owner is rude and flat out refuses to do anything about it, you can always change the Pango unit's mode. Plus, check if it is muttering possible formulas for deadly bombs. If it is, it should be startled and provoked to forget immediately.

Q: My Klonoa unit starts flinching and whimpering whenever my Pango unit comes near.

A: Your Klonoa unit has witnesses the Rolling Blaster/Gigantic Bomber attack. The face of your Pango unit during those moves are enough to wipe the grins from a Moo unit. And trust us, that takes a lot. There isn't much you can do at this point - you can buy a Guntz unit and equip them both with the Slash Update Kit special ver. 2.54. KloGuntz. That should take the fright off your Klonoa unit's mind.

Q: My family's falling sick. Can my Pango unit help?

A: Of course. What it will do is to pick the first blossom off a cherry tree, wave it under the Moon and touch the person's face with it. This works miraculously. Try it.

Q: My Pango unit keeps screaming that its book is missing.

A: Look under your bed. The Legend of Stars and Moon is a very important book for the Pango unit. Failure to find it will depress the Pango unit deeply.

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_Last Note:_

Your Pango unit is guaranteed to last at least 15 years. Please call 1-800-NAMCO-CHAR often for available updates for your unit.

During the guaranteed time, your unit can be exchanged for a new one, but only in the case of malfuctions.

Namco Inc. wishes you a happy time with your Pango unit!

--------------------------------

I'll update soon!


End file.
